Nine years of Indie

Indie girl is nine, and nine is looking so much bigger than I thought it would. Entering the world of small sports bras, frequent showers and discussing much too often why deodorant is important. Indie's started claiming more independence by wrangling her hair into the same low pony every day, ditching dresses and pleading for high heels. 

We've had so many wonderful, (and uncomfortable) conversations about bodies.  Indie's began to notice the box of beauty that starts closing in on all girls as they grow.  It's led to some tearful nights. We've explored what it means to be more than a body in a world where your body's appearance is often confused as worthiness, and what to do with all of those messages.  I'm trying my best to give her tools and support to help navigate these issues. I would feel so privileged to be close enough to her when she's grown to hear all the ways I messed it up.  

Indie took on a dance class, accepting to face the fear of actually being seen dancing.  She is an incredibly hard worker. When given enough time to process she accepts a lot of pressure in the name of growth.  She also ran her first 5k while learning a lot of emotional coping skills through the program 'girls on the run.'

As we put on the required make up for her dance recital she visibly withdrew and with slumped shoulders sadly said: 'I don't look like me.' Cue a conversation about how the things we wear on our bodies are an opportunity to express ourselves. They are there to serve us. If its not doing that, forget about it.  Weeks later she got a little make up set from a friend and went through a phase of wearing the eyeshadows to fit her moods. 

Indie devours books.  Damon has made the library his special time with all the kids and each week Indie checks out books by the dozens.  I've been reading Harry Potter with her on the side.  She resents having to pace herself with me, but gosh darn it we are making memories and sharing this wizarding world!  It's extremely hard for her to wait for fantasy content. So naturally I make her practice that muscle with Harry Potter. 

'I'm bored,' has emerged as a new favorite phrase, seemingly around the same time that her humor has really started trying out lots of new avenues.  One thing is for sure, Indie loves to be a tease, though she only receives teasing in good nature about 50 percent of the time.  

Indie loves back scratches, popcorn and staying up late. She will read in bed as late as her body can stand, which happens to be about 10pm. 

Numbers are extremely important to Indie, as are processes and structures. She is very intelligent and particular about how she thinks things should be. She is helpful, responsible and self driven.  She is organized and cleans things well the first time.  She once surprised me by cleaning the whole house by herself while I was away shopping. She is very much the boss of herself and knows how she would like her day to be. You can fall in line with her ideas or get out of her way.

I don't think there has been a single day this year that Indie has not listened to Allen Walker.  She started a venture of recording all of his lyrics in a journal. If you have any questions about Minecraft, Legos, or of the Iditarod race, she's got you covered.

Indie wants to be included in all the adult conversations but is still so very little.  She came home from school one day in distress. She needed to phone her friend to discuss, 'Something really hard that's been happening at school.  We are doing our best to handle it ourselves. I don't really want to include the adults.' Cue my immediate concern and trying to balance giving her her own bit of space in this world while also wanting to know absolutely everything.  After some strategic pestering she finally said; 'Okay, if I tell you a little of what its about will you stop?' I agreed.  Indie took a deep breath and said with great graveness, 'It has to do with my ability to control the wind.'  My whole body relaxed and tried not to laugh. Okay. We're good. We're still little. 

Indie loves to talk. She wants to discuss every fine detail of her day. The chapters she's read. At what time an activity started and how long it ran. The content of her novels and shows.  When it comes to big feelings she NEEDS to talk them through but is never quite sure how to start it.  So, she'll just linger near you until you help her. She is entering a phase of never wanting to go anywhere with the family but having so much fun every time we get past the initial resistance. 

When I asked Indie what she didn't want to forget from this moment in time she said her love of the: Aru Shah book series, the show She-Ra, The Last Airbender series, watching Hunter x Hunter with Damon, the Wing Feather books, the book series Amulet, any and all graphic novels, playing Zelda and eating at Panda Express. When she is grown she'd like to be an adventurer exploring the world with her two adopted children.

 A favorite memory I hold from this time is laying on the floor of the cabin talking about her dreams of being a teenager while making friendship bracelets together. 

Oh Indie girl. I'm so grateful we get to have you in our family. You are a leader, a listener, a doer, a lover, a creator and so much more. I hope you are so kind to yourself as you continue learning and growing.  Happy nine years.

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