Griffin's 3 Month's Old

February 02, 2018

Griffin's 3 Month's Old

We've had quite the month with Mr. Griffin. He's such a beautifully hard baby. He's sweet, and loves to smile and play. I feel like we are (hopefully) finally hitting a tipping point on his discomfort.

Here's the long of it. We assumed Finn had reflux and got him on meds. However, after we saw no improvement we took him off of them. We met with the doctor, thinking we'd simply ask for a more powerful reflux medication. His doctor thought that perhaps Finn didn't have reflux though, and it was just the thrush that was bothering him. So, we decided to start treating thrush...again.

This time we tried to kill the thrush with nystatin and gentian violet. Nursing Finn became such a process. That gentian violet is no joke. Purple everywhere.. Our counters will forever be purple in two different spots, to help us remember the joyous time that our son looked like a smurf eater. His mouth and face were constantly purple, as was anything he touched. Catching spit up became a whole new level of dangerous. It would stain anything it touched. We did thrush treatments in tandem with probiotics (for him and me) and saw no improvement.

Meanwhile our little man started having digested blood specks in his poops. He was becoming more and more irritable and uncomfortable. He could only be on the gentian violet medication for 7 days, because of how powerful it is. When day 6 arrived (and nothing had improved) I took Finn off everything. He had been having blood poop for 3 days at that point. I had a bit of a panic attack and Damon took the day off work. I was able to take Griffin to the doctors without the girls.

We had some frustrating 'run around' with Finns doctor. I'll spare the details, as they really aren't important. It can be summed up by saying: after a worthless visit, and 5 phone calls later, the doctor's office took the position of, if Griffin isn't at deaths door, just wait for him to grow out of it. Just wait for him to grow out of the pain, the thrush, the blood, the screaming, the projectile vomiting, the colic, the arching. the sleeplessness, don't do anything. He's fine. (oy-to-the-vay)

To say I was frustrated by the lack of collaboration and listening would be an understatement. I scheduled an appointment with a new pediatrician to get a second opinion. Finn isn't in an emergent state, he's growing fine and hitting milestones. But he isn't happy, and he tries so hard to be. I've had two happy babies before him. I know his fussiness isn't normal, somethings off. I might not be able to figure it out, but to just shrug off his discomfort and wait for him to get better isn't a choice to me. I want to keep going until I've exhausted all the avenues. Which has been stressful for me. I'm finding myself falling into a bit of a depression. I'm feeling overwhelmed and anxious despite trying to lean on the Lord. I'm starting to wonder if I might have postpartum depression or at least developing some intense anxiety.

With no helpful ideas from Griffin's doctor, and a week before we could get into the new pediatrician, I moved on to trying to treat his thrush with apple cider vinegar. I have no idea if the thrush is bothering Finn or not. But its one factor I want to get off the table of possibilities. Who knew it would be so hard?! I swab Finn's mouth and cover my nipples with vinegar after every feeding.

However, Griffin's latch recently changed this last week and he's starting to destroy my nipples. He detached one, and the other feels close behind. I don't know if the thrush is hurting him or what. I don't know why he's suddenly struggling with latching. We've looked at the possibility that perhaps he has a lip and tongue tie. Two doctors looked at him in the hospital when he was born and said he was fine, and I've had two more look at him this week, and they both just kinda shrugged their shoulders and said maybe. At any rate, nursing on a detached nipple is super painful, and then getting to cover it in vinegar after every feed, is just downright mean.

We've been taking Griffin to a chiropractor to help with what we assumed in the beginning was reflux. I'm not really sure anymore. At this point, I realize as a parent I usually have no idea whats going on. Or as Micheal Scott would say, 'I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do.' We go 3 times a week to get Finn adjusted. The goal was to get in 12 adjustments and re-evaluate how he's doing. I think it's helping? But it's so hard to tell. I am Micheal Scott.

We started to suspect Finn might have an allergy to something in my diet. Since he was born I've been on and off of dairy, as I flip flopped back and forth in thinking he may or may not have reflux. I'm finally off dairy for good, and reading all the labels to make sure I get zero diary protein. The first 48 hours off dairy completely Finn did SO much better. For a solid day. Then we were back to projectile vomiting and colic. Whhhhheeeeeyyyyy?

We met with the new pediatrician and he felt that the colic, thrush, and reflux issues were all symptoms of a deeper gut problem. The doctor listened and collaborated with me, sent me studies to read and suggested a more aggressive probiotic to try. As with anything in this life, he reminded me that healing will take time, and will not be instantaneous. It could be weeks or months before we see a change in Finn's discomfort and symptoms. We are going to continue on, under the assumption that his gut is the issue. I'm staying off dairy, and if worst comes to worst we will call in a medication for reflux to help Finn out while we wait for his gut to get back into shape.

Going through this experience has made me so grateful that despite our woes, Griffin is healthy. He's growing and hitting milestones as he should. I am in awe at the strength and endurance mother's of sick babies have to build. I don't know if I could do it. That's enough about the hard side of Griffin though. He has such a beautiful side to him.

I LOVE the way Griffin smells. I love holding him chest to chest and just breathing in his little baby smell. I love it when he relaxes so completely against me that he feels like dead weight. I love feeling his chest rising and falling against my body.

I love that Finn has found his voice and tries to talk to you when he's happy. I love his big smile and how playful he is. He loves to have you rough him around. He loves having his feet and his hands clapped. He loves kisses on his chubby little cheeks.

Finn found his hands and likes to suck on his right little fist. He has started reaching and attempting to grab things. This proves a little hard as he hasn't really figured out how to open his fists yet. So he's just like a little stumpy thing trying to grab his toys or my face.

Finn loves bathtime. It doesn't matter how fussy, inconslable, angry or uncomrfotable he has been. The moment we set him in his bath water he calms and looks all around.

We usually spend from 6:30-9 every night trying to get our dead tired little boy to sleep. We moved him into his own room (in his rock and play) when he turned 2 months. He did amazing with this switch. We plan on moving him out of the rock and play and into his crib as soon as he's over the cold he has right now. I'm dreading messing with sleep but Finn's starting to outgrow the rock and play.

Starting around four at night Finn becomes fussy and unhappy. It lasts until we get him to bed at 9pm ish. If we go anywhere out and about past four it's just a given that Finn will scream the whole time.

Finn drools so much. More than our other babies at this age. When he cries it often looks like he's foaming at the mouth because of all the drool bubbles.

Finn doesn't like his car seat. He's very vocal about that. He also silently protest with scowling eyes and angry cheeks. He is either crying, taking an anger nap, or glaring at the world, from his car seat. There is no happy.