Finn's 11 Month & Seizure Update

We had a bit of a scare this month.  Finn had what is likely a febrile seizure.  After the fact, I still had some questions so I requested Finn's medical records.  I wanted to look into the medications he had been given & see what the side effects were.   When I received Finn's medical records I was ticked.  

They had the events from that day wrong.  Which looking back, makes sense, because we kept having to correct multiple nurses.  The report cited that I had said a lot of things I never said.  It had answers (supposedly from me) to questions I had never been asked.  It had concerning test results that weren't shared with me.  But the most concerning thing, for me, was the report from the paramedics.  They contradicted what medications they gave Finn to stop his seizure then admitted they couldn't recall what they had given.  What they did recall is that they accidentally overdosed him, which they said caused his breathing issues.

Now.  I realize, Finn's fine.  He's doing great. People make mistakes.  Paramedics are people. I get it.  That part doesn't have me shook.  The thing that's got me worked up is, I felt like they hid it from me.  I asked them multiple times.  I asked them on the ambulance ride to the hospital.   I asked while we were in the hospital.  I asked during his tests. I asked while we were being discharged.  Every time a new symptom developed, I asked. 'Is this from the medications you gave him, or results of the seizure?' 

This meaning: His paralysis.  Watching him struggle to breath. Several smaller seizures.   His lifeless body.  His vacant eyes.  His roaming eye.  His inability to make a sound. His postictal state.

Was this all normal for a seizure? Do other people react this way.  Is it possible he could have brain damage. How long will it take for this to stop, if it does.  I followed up with questions. My mind, in the moment was racing trying to process and prepare what the future might look like for Finn.  I was trying my best to be proactive and advocate for Finn.  To the point of annoyance. I'm sure. 

My questions were all met with:

 'there is no way to know.'

'I've never seen this before' 

'It could be permanent'

 'This is not normal'

 'I've never seen a febrile seizure like this' 

They told me over and over again: 'we don't know, we don't know, we don't know'.  But they did know.  They knew some of it. They knew they had made a mistake.  & they could have told me.  It would have helped SO much in the moment to know that there were other things at work, besides what seemed like Finn's body spontaneously shutting down.  It would have helped me so much in the moment, and in the nights to come.

But nothing. And there's really nothing to be done about it.  Finn's fine, we're fine.  I really wish they would have kept me in the loop.  I wish they would have told me what they knew, instead of telling me, while I'm watching my baby struggle to breath, that his paralysis might be permanent.  C'mon guys! Yesh. 

But onto happier things!

Finn is just a cream puff of love and rolls.  When you pick up Rolly Polly he'll squish you his baby hardest.  His little arms and thighs clenched and shaking with effort. As if to say, 'hey thanks for holding me, let me squish your guts out.' 

Finn is all about the excitement and expressing himself with: throwing, and hitting, and grabbing, and flexing, and lunging. He loves to give high fives. Solicited or not.  Sometimes he will high five your face. In excitement.  He loves to hurl his toys across the room.  Always followed by immediate regret, because Marshmallow can't crawl.  He's got a really impressive arm though. 

He loves to awkwardly and forcefully throw his whole body to one side or another.  He's learning that this works better if someone is holding him, than it does if he's sitting alone.  He loves to throw all his limbs and flex his muscles when he's excited.  He reminds me a lot of a puppy trying to grow into it's oversized body.

Finn is officially our latest crawler.  He is rolling consistently, but is still too loosey goosey to move those muscles into any sort of crawling position. He put his knee's up under his body for the first time yesterday!  Granted his face and chest were flat on the ground.  Eh, ya win some, you loose some. He's never pulled his knee's under his body before.   Damon predicts he'll be crawling within a month.  I'm not so sure. Mostly because I wanted to oppose Damon's decree.   To get around Finn will pivot in a orderly 360 radius from where ever I set him.

Finn is very chatty.  Right now he is working on mimicking words.  He will point to something, and wait for you to give it a word.  He'll watch you closely as you repeat the word, then he'll try to copy your sounds.  It's really precious.  He is currently working on mastering 'Elk', 'Ghost', 'Bye-bye',  'Car', 'Bird,' & 'Bat.'  If you ask him where any of those objects are, he'll bend over backwards to try and show you.

Finn loves to be silly.  He'll get a look in his eye and fix his face real stiff trying not to smile when he's got an idea that he thinks is silly.  Finner's always his silliest and most playful just before bed.  He's climbed that bump of 'fussy tired' and arrived at his silliest slap happy self.  It makes it hard to put him to bed when every sound, look, or movement has him belly laughing. One night Damon & I happened to laugh at something in our conversation at the same time Finn was randomly head banging on the floor.  (Remember he loves to throw his body.)  Finn looked up at us so tickled we found him hysterical and proceeded to head bang.  Vigerously. To the point of worry.  Whiplash is a thing.  He didn't care.  He thought he was the funnest baby.  Now when he wants to be silly he'll call our attention and look at us with his 'I'm going to be silly look', then head bang like a heavy metal groupie.

I've said it before, but I'll say it again. Finn is our most baby, baby.  He still has a hard time eating solids and has to be topped off with a squeeze pouch or puree'd goodness. Or else he can't sleep.  We let him eat bits of whatever we are eating, and then he requires his second dinner.  & then boob.  Even then, sometimes we have to get him back up from his crib and feed him more.  Kid is a bottomless bit. Maintaining cream puff status isn't for the weary or soft spoken.

Finner is trying to cut out his second nap, hard core.   We are all opposing the motion.  I'm sure he'll end it for good pretty soon though.  

For the first time, a few nights ago, Finn moved himself from a laying position to a sitting position.  I don't think he super knew how he did it, and felt pretty stuck. Silly Marshmallow.

Finn moved to a big boy carseat!  (Calm down, it's rear facing.)  Our Infant one expired.  We brought 3 babies home from the hospital in that thing.  So crazy.  

Finn discovered his 'Woah!' face.  He pulls it out often.  He finds so many things mind blowing.  His eyes go big, his body goes still and his mouth forms a perfect 'O'.  Usually the 'Woah!' face is accompanied by a chubby pointer finger.  Silently demanding to know what this wondrous thing is, that he's beholding.  My favorite instance of this is when he discovered the lights at Grandma Soozie's & Papa Joe's.  He was so enthralled.  Witchcraft!

Finn loves books.  He holds them gently and turns the pages. Making his 'woah,' face.  He points and babbles at the objects.  He has a reverence and calmness for books that is pretty unprecedented with his personality.  He'll sit silent and still in your lap when you read him a book.  Eyes carefully watching the pages.  Breathing steady and even against your chest.  It's precious.

Finn is obsessed with the knobs on his dresser.  He'll throw himself, dead body weight, out of my arms trying to reach them whenever we are close by.  Luckily I know him, and that at any moment he'll try to self eject from my arms.  So, he's never gotten injured. But man.  Those knobs. He's gotta have em.

Finn still needs help with neck support when I pick him up from a laying position.  Sometimes his neck strength will just give and he'll bobble head it when I'm walking with him.  Apparently I walk with a surprising acceleration. The kind his muscles can't always match. 

Finn's muscle tone has been a small point of concern for me.  It's not always on my radar but it's always in the back of my head when small things come up.  Wondering if it's a symptom of a bigger issue, or just a small hurdle he'll have to work on.  The physical therapist wasn't concerned, although she did predict Finn would probably have to work a little harder and longer on physical activities.  Things that come naturally to most children. Running, jumping..ect.

Finn's Ped. is not at all happy with where Finn's muscle tone is, and I'm curious to see where Finn's at during his 12 month appointment.

Finn is working on cutting his two front teeth. For a total of 6 toofers.

Lastly, Finn loves it when you 'Indian clap' his mouth.  He think's its the coolest to hear his steady babble be interrupted by the movement of your hand.  He'll often grab onto your wrist. Throw his head back and try to force you to never stop.

We love you Finn boy.  We can't believe it's almost been a year!