10 year anniversary

This is a celebration of 10 years of marriage. Our actual anniversary collapsed in on us and we unintentionally spent it apart.  So, this is trying again. A day late. This is a tangible display of striving. A broken tape dispenser, pictures refusing to stick to the wall, hurried reminiscing cut and pasted to the back of each photo, it was a race to finish before he got home. In an effort to force my perspective to shift from frustration to gratitude, I combed through every photo of our past year together. I set aside the moments he loved, supported, and was patient with me. I felt humbled as hundreds of memories poured in, each photo linked to a deeper story. A vast lake made from rain drops of the same narrative, repeated thousands of times.  Damon is a good man, who loves, supports, and chooses me. 

As we flipped over each photo to read what I'd written, the children trickled in.  Soon the quiet reconciliation was alive with jumping, giggles, wrestling, (and maybe even some listening). I wonder if the kids will remember (and what they will remember) as they are invited to join in the moments like this between Damon and I.  It would have been much calmer without them, and there are plenty of times they are not invited to the party. But to see their excitement and to hold hope that they glean something from our example in their own lives felt too precious to shut out. 

The following are the photos from the wall.

You are a pillar in the chaos of our family’s emotion. You work hard to provide and have grown so much not only professionally but profoundly in your abilities that bless our home and your career.   

a soft calm place for Finn to fall when I don't have space for him 

as tension and feelings ran amuck with Indie and I, you gave our family a second chance at fun

attending to small mundane details with tenderness

baptizing Indie and saying prayers every night is such a comforting example to me

bearing the weight of the small children I don't want to at any and all events with grace  

behind every Hadfield baby in the bath there is a Damon 

behind every picture of our family is a Damon supporting my vison 

bringing light and ease to so many situations

bringing me cabbage leaves 

building this green chair and then supporting me in nursing and switching chairs 

Calvary when my day has drained me and the children need tenderness (2) 

Calvary when my day has drained me and the children need tenderness (2) 

Calvary when my day has drained me and the children need tenderness (2) 

You clean up the dirt off all unruly children

Sharing childhood walks with our children and cultivating a love of the outdoors.  

I love that you are always documenting 

An expert at fire making which will come in handy come survivor season 

indulges with me in the silly Halloween creation

enduring miserable attitude, anxiety and meltdowns with patience and self-control 

ever carrying my desires into tangible outcomes 

Giving the children with what they need and hope for 

hustling to make the water comfortable and enjoyable for our family 

involving children 

juggling exhaustion and mud slides for memories 

no one knows and sits with the weight and the pain that trips and family dynamics can trigger in me.  you are fiercely loyal and loving to me in my dark ugly spaces 

on days that are inexplicably hard to get out of bed, you willingly help move the beauty to me 

\patient and loving in my journey of sexual growth 

You do pick me ups with creation

playful

playground hero 

Feeder of babies 

ridiculously capable of tackling new projects 

silent support in small touches and moments 

supportive of my friend relationships 

supportive of my hobbies. One of the first pictures I took with my new camera. Cookies 

supportive, encouraging, enthusiastic about my creative time and outlets 

taking on any and all diapers no matter the sitch

taking on tasks I don't love 

teacher

Tender and patient with my hard spots  

Tender heart and a soft place of love 

That first tea you pushed me to try, that sparked and obsession. You expand me. 

The first photo I chose use for Joy’s course. When I show interest in self betterment there is nothing but love and encouragement from you. Regardless the price. 

The funny guy behind every forced photo 

The muscle behind family trip going smoothly 

The only productive apple picker in this family.  

you are an amazing care taker. You are so selfless and tender and unencumbered by the grueling task of tending unpleasant body functions and persevering hard emotions in the name of health 

You are flexible with your trajectory when I have an idea  

You come home when I call in a panic 

You desire nothing of my body but love and health 

You do the dig deep Dad stuff 

You grow with me 

You have grown me into who I am today 

You hold sacred my need for nature and movement at a moment's notice  

You listen and trust my guidance and choices in letting our children grow as they are 

you listen to me talk SO much about the things I think and feel. 

You run to the store to buy me memory cards, help me fix my camera, and try again when it feels like we've fallen apart

You sacrifice optimal grass for Childhood play time 

You tackle hard topics and listen in sincerity to my heart 

Your willingness to carry the children, with grace, through your errands