Happiness vs Joy, and the stupid dryer too!

     So, we've moved. Still loving it, still settling in.  It takes us a while!  Just barely yesterday we got a washer and dryer! YAY-our clothes were beginning to pile up, showers were beginning to seem pointless.  Dirty clothes after a shower? Counter productive. (Plus I really just hate showering)
     Anyways, Damon & I found a used appliance store in Orem that looked pretty legit.  They had a 30 day guarantee, and the fact that they have a permanent location is always comforting. Can't stay in town in business if you screw people over! 
          Well, the title of this post was almost 'what I WISH I knew when buying a used dryer', so as foreshadowed, this doesn't end well. We at least had the sense of mind to look up and research which brands of Washer & Dryer are the least likely to breakdown, and easiest to repair.  We should have done more homework. Somethings I just don't think to check, until I've run into a problem. 
         Like one time in High School a friend of mine and I resolved to eat a whole little Caesars pizza by ourselves. I don't really know why. We probably were just running out of things to do. It took about 3 or 4 tries  to accomplish our goal ps. Well this time, after we got our pizza we waited until we got to our car before opening it to devour!  Only to find that the pizza was missing almost all of the cheese. It was just bread and sauce.  We went back in to get a new one (maybe one minute had elapsed from leaving the store) and we were told once we left the store we couldn't return the pizza...for real?  Who eats all, and just, the cheese off in less then a minute. Dumb. So long story short, I now always check the pizza in the store before leaving. 
        So, back to the Washer and Dryer. We went to the store, grabbed our appliances and were off.   First mistake. So, So rookie. We didn't test them in store. We could have, but the guarantee that it would work or they would replace made us trust the fiends. 
          We weren't able to get anything up and running til tonight, we had to run and get a dryer vent as soon as Damon got off work.  Indie and I had the car today so we picked him up and planned to just go from there to Home Depot, so we could finally clean up the dust of dirty clothes that has seemed to settle on our bedroom floor.
         Well, here was the first stress. I found out I have shingles a few days ago. Boo.  Super painful and super itchy and super feel like I have the flu off and on.  Which isn't that bad compared to how paranoid I've been that I'll give Indie chicken pox. And then on top of that I can't see Lauren and her precious new baby til the shingles clear up. I adore my sister and haven't really gotten to talk to her about this amazing little guy and how he made it into this world.  I think stress is what brought the shingle flare up.  Guess having a baby then dealing with kidney stones for a couple months, then moving to a place you can't afford may cause some stress.  YESH!! (however I would like to, again, give a shout out to everyone that helped us through that rough time!  I'm not trying to belittle how grateful we are for all the help by my complaining!  You guys have all been great and we really are so thankful!)
         Man, sorry it is taking forever to get through this story. Anyways! So, Indie and I are on our way to pick up Damon from work so we can go to the store. The whole way there Indie is screaming. Not just a fussy cry, but a pretty alarming, hurt cry. I crawl into the back seat as soon as we get Damon and see a handful of red dots sprinkled across her forehead. My heart, of course, drops. I have tried SO hard and been SO careful that keep everything covered and cleaned so Indie doesn't have any risk of getting sick. So that automatically puts me in a bad place.  Damon looked at her too and after a little more inspection we decided she must have been rubbing her face while trying to fall asleep and they were just scratches.  *PHEWPH!* I was a little snippy with Damon though and we had a bit of a frustrated back and forth.
       It's been SO hard to feel connected lately, with the baby, and Damon schooling and working and working on the move. We have zero time to spend together. So that puts our relationship in default 'frustrated mode,' I hate it.  And when I say 'we' I mean mostly me.  I am really affected by the lack of 'connecting time' we've had. 
        ANYWAYS! Fast forward, we get home put the vent on and turn on the dryer. Turn it on for less than 10 seconds and the whole house filled with an overwhelming smell of cigarette smoke. DISGUSTING.  If we ever buy used again ( which is very likely as we are poor and have a habit of moving often) We will ask about policies on second hand smoke!  The store was clear that there would be no refunds or exchanges unless it was not working. Excuse me? As far as I'm concerned this is broken.  It defeats the whole purpose of washing clothes if you are only going to throw them into the smoke laced dryer. (When I say laced I really mean caked!) Plus we can't have our 5 month old scooting around in smoke clothes. Nor do we want our apt reeking of smoke. Oh I got worked up! So so worked up.
         Damon and I had a bit more of a snippy back and forth in which I told him he needed to be more forceful and I didn't trust him to call the people when the store is open and demand an exchange.  He never pushes things that need to be pushed and he got offended because that's not entirely true and I was taking things out on him.  So, like the amazing husband he is, since he couldn't call them and fix things right away he looked up how to rid dryers of smoke smell and went to work.  
         Tonight was suppose to be a 'reconnect night' since we've (I've) been struggling so much with the lack of time. So, I was just so disappointed that there was one more thing on top of everything... I was being pretty miss negative pants.  
          I attacked the dishes, with all my anger. I dread doing the dishes, but almost always, by the end of scrubbing them, I always decide I really like the time. Its kind of therapeutic in a way. Not so much in a way that if someone were to offer us a dishwasher I would say 'no, I need my doctor sud time' though. While scrubbing (and I admit this knowing how cheesy it sounds) the lyrics from Frozen kept playing over and over in my heard. "People make bad choices when they are mad or scared or stressed, but throw a little love their way and you'll bring out their best." 
          I am a very music oriented person. Not so much that I'm super talented musically, but I do pick up lyrics and melodies really quickly. And I just kept thinking about how true those words are. Then I started thinking about what love really is and how life isn't going to slow down.  That if I really love Damon I need to really work on the way I treat him regardless of what's going on around us.  So, while scrubbing and listening to Damon work on the dryer, I felt so horrible for everything. He is such a good man. He treats me so well. Always, and he was working his hardest to fix the dryer. 
         Sorry this was suppose to be a rant about the super stupid appliance fiends. Not a vent about my faults! I apologized to Dame about everything and Damon, being the understanding man that he is, of course said that if it eased my frustration or stress that he didn't mind at all being the 'whipping boy.'  No. Sweet, though. He loves me! But it's not okay.  I don't want our kids to think that it's okay to treat others poorly when they are upset.  I don't want them to think that it's okay for others to treat them poorly. Yes, I know it will happen once and a while. It's only human nature. But I do not want to be an enabling example.  And I want Damon to feel loved regardless of my stress.  I want to be the kind of person who, regardless of what's going on in my life, remembers the important things.  And to me, that's how I treat others. 
          Let me tell you, if you could meet the person I want to be in my head, everyone would just adore me always haha.  I get really discouraged with myself sometimes. This may sound cheesy too but Elder Nelson, a few conferences back, said something that has really stuck with me. 'We become who we want to be, by consistently being who we want to become,' Pretty Duh logic, but I love it!  Another quote I heard at church, was 'Happiness is about me and now, Joy is about us and always.'
        I don't want my poor behavior to take away from our family's joy. 
        SOOO ya, that's what's going on over here!