Estelle Violet Hadfield

April 17, 2016

Estelle Violet Hadfield

Our newest member of the family is here! Estelle Violet Hadfield, born April 6th at 10:20 am. She was 7lbs 8oz and 20 inches long. She's absolutely perfect, but before I gush about her... It's birth story time!

I had an elective induction at 40+ weeks. Being able to have an induction was so nice and terrifying at the same time. Nice because I'm a big planner and like to know when things are going to happen. It was terrifying because... having a baby. Just thinking back on how hard birthing Indie was on my body, it was not an experience I was looking forward to. (This was taken right before we left for our induction)

I felt like I was cheating a little by being induced. I had originally wanted to just go until 42 weeks (if I had to) and let baby come when my body started labor on its own. Buuuut then 40 weeks hit and when given the option at my OB appointment, I caved. Anyways, we called the hospital at 4 am the morning of the 6th to see if we were good to come in and have a baby! I barely slept at all that night. Which is a silly way to start off a labor, but I couldn't help it.
Damon's parents, Joe & Susan, came to watch Indie. Damon and I were at the hospital by 5:30 am. It was slow going, getting admitted and waiting for everything to be started. We got the pitocin going by 7:00. I was a 4cm and 50% effaced (and had been since 39 weeks.) Contractions were tiny and far between. Damon and I talked and giggled a lot while we waited for things to progress.
At 8:50 I was 5cm and 100% effaced, The whole crew came in to break my water. With Indie's labor (her birth story here) after they broke my water, things got real, really fast. So, I was prepared for the contractions to ramp up this time. Boy did they ramp up. After they broke my water I had about 3 contractions and decided I was probably going to die a little bit and wanted the epidural. They came in to place it and honestly I couldn't pay much attention to anything other than the contractions. I held onto Damon, tried to remember to breath and shook uncontrollably with each new contraction. Tears were involved. They placed the epidural and I kept telling them I felt the needle going in too much to the left. They tried to readjust but it didn't really take. It numbed my legs really well, but the right side of my belly still got the full force of contractions and my vagina didn't get any numbing.
They would have taken the needle out and redone the epidural line, but in the few mins it took to get the epidural in I had progressed to a 9-9.5cm dilation and was feeling the urge to push. The nurses had been frantically setting up the delivery room while the anesthesiologist was placing my epidural. They kept telling me to not push til Doctor Cox arrived. I was in so much pain with each contraction. They had the on call doctor come in just in case baby came too soon for my OB to arrive. We had a full delivery room: 3 nurses, 2 students, 2 anesthesiologists, and 2 doctors.
Once Doctor Cox arrived he said I could push. It took me a second to remember how you're suppose to push. I wanted to breath through the pain but you're suppose to hold your breath and bare down when you push oops. I almost passed out a few times from the pain, exhaustion, pushing, and lack of breathing.
It was a completely new experience being able to feel each contraction and the urge to push. I wanted to smack a few nurses and doctors that were encouraging me to 'push harder,' as the contraction progressed...really? Really? Don't you think I'm giving it all I've got?! Why would I do anything other than my all? Anyways, in between contractions I had about a min or two of rest before another came. I went from 'dying and hating everything' in pain while in a contraction to 'endorphin happy just chilling and tired' while I waited for the next. All eyes in the delivery room were on me, which was a little awkward during the rest periods. I tried to make small talk with my audience, haha. (I made the mistake of asking if anyone had any great girl names. Suggestions were, Kimberly, Kamen and one more I can't remember. I think the OB was a little miffed we didn't adore the name Kimberly.) When everything was said and done though, 5-6 pushes and baby was out. I yelled out 'this is STUPID!' While pushing through the ring of fire. That was intense.

Now that the pain is past, I'm really glad I had the opportunity to experience a labor sans the epidural taking. It was a whole new level of emotions when the baby was born. (They asked me if I wanted to watch baby come out, have a mirror or pull her out myself. Bah! No thank you!) As soon as baby was out I stared sobbing and saying, 'my baby, my baby!' Over and over again. (Damon teared up too). They laid her on my chest immediately and there she stayed for an hour or two. I felt an immediate bond with Estelle.

Poor baby was inconsolable for the first hour of her life, though. I couldn't get her to calm or soothe. Indie never really cried as an infant. So, having this tiny newborn absolutely hysterical and not calmed by my voice, touch, rocking, cuddling, bouncing, shushing, boob, or any other means I could think of, was really disconcerting. I felt like I was failing as a mother to her. We think she was just a little shell shocked from a very fast birth.

On a side note, my legs were still so numb from the epidural, especially my left leg. I couldn't move or reposition to properly soothe my baby the way I wanted to. That was really hard. At one point I asked Damon to help me sit forward to try breastfeeding, which he did, but I couldn't stop myself from going forward and almost ended up with my head in my lap, baby smoothed in between. Luckily Damon caught it before I squished our daughter.
Breastfeeding has been really hard this time around. We had several nurses come in to try to help. They all came in with an air of 'we'll show you the light,' and left with a 'sorry, you're out of luck, we don't know how to help.' The lactation consultant was also at a loss and told us to just keep trying. Which is really a bummer because, Indie was so hard to breastfeed. I was really hoping for an easy experience this time around.

But on a happier note, Indie is tickled to be a big sister. She loves to hold Estelle. She has a really hard time when Estelle is sad, she helps with anything I let her. It melts our hearts. When Indie came to the hospital to meet her baby sister she held her and gave her so many kisses. Among other sweet things, Indie told Estelle, 'I'm your big sister, I will be your friend.' So tender.

Recovery this time around was a dream. Only one tear, I didn't need any heavy pain meds, and took ibuprofen intermittently. I was able to get up and walk, and get up and down off my bed as soon as my legs un-numbed. (It took me like 5 days post labor to do that with Indie.) We stayed one night and were discharged the next afternoon. Here's Estelle getting ready to leave the hospital.

Estelle is the sweetest. She is a little opinionated, she does not like a dirty diaper, or diaper changes or her clothes changed. She needs lots of help burping, she loves to sleep chest to chest on her tummy, and being snugged. She does not like sleeping on her back. She loves to passify suck. She didn't smile until my milk came in. Literally, after the first feeding she had post milk coming in, she was all smiles. So cute.

We are so in love and excited to continue to get to know this new sweet little girl. (This picture was taken this morning. Bright eyed and curious!)

Damon's excellent swaddling stance.

Beautiful sleepy baby

3 days old, checking in at the pediatricians

Damon with 'The Girls,' So tender

Estelle's night time set up. She is not as great of a sleeper as Indie was. Indie came home sleeping 5-7 hour stretches at night. Estelle's normal seems to be 3-4. With a few 2 hour stretches and a few 6. She also wants to be cuddled back to sleep and does not like being put in her bassinet if she's even a little bit awake.